so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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