I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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