I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
