Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
