Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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