Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
