We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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