That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
