And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
