In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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