it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
