then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
