She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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