Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
