I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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