he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
