Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Randomize
