If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
