is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Couch. On fire.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
