my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
