the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm just crazy horny about you
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
