i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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