so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize