When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
