Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
