Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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