Don't make out with my wife yet
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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