I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
