if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
