Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
