that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
