is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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