yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
