do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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