epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
