Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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