Where is the hickey?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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