Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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