come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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