I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
