I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
