dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
