i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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