Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
