i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize