dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
