She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
