Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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