Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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