He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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