Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
