He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Be still, my beating vagina.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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