but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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