It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just invented taco cereal.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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