haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
