The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
