What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
