I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
